Finding Peace in the Face of a Young Boy

I know a couple, each of whom is very accomplished. They are highly educated, and they are both experienced diplomats. They have served as advisors to our government and to the governments of several other countries. If the wars we are fighting ever come to an end and we are able to find the kind of satisfying peace that so many of us yearn for, these two, the man and the woman, will have played an important part in bringing us to that happy ending.

I also know that this man and woman had a child, a daughter, who died very young. Eventually they had another child, a boy, and this boy recently marked his fifth birthday. I have seen the couple with their son, and I have seen pictures of the boy at his fifth birthday party.

These two have much to offer the world. They are capable of things that others could not possibly do. I know they have a deep desire to contribute to peace and understanding, and they have dedicated their lives to service in an effort to bring that about. But I have also seen them with their son. I have watched the expressions on their faces and the way they attend to everything their little boy does. As important as their work is, it is obvious what matters to them. There are reports, diplomatic visits, and policy statements that must be made. But the most important thing in the lives of this man and this woman is their son.

If we ever find peace, it will be because of love. The love of adults for each other and especially the love of parents for their children. If, like this couple, more of us could extend the love we find within our families to the larger family of people beyond the borders of our homes and nations, we might just get there.

Charles Baxter on Love

The main character of the novel owns a coffee shop.

"Bradley, I don't think you should talk about these things."
"Why not?"
"Some matters you shouldn't verbalize. I mean really, Bradley" ―and here she raised her hand and caressed my cheek―"all this love business is just nature's way of getting more babies into the world. The rest of it is just all this romance nonsense." She struggled for the word. "The rest of it is just superstructure."
"Well, maybe. But what if," I said, still gazing at her, with her sly sexy smile like a little dawn on her face, "what if the love we feel, what if it's central, what if it's what makes the world's soul possible, what if it's what made the world and keeps it running, and the babies are also a product of that, our soul-making, not the only product, but..."
 "That's what I mean," she said. "You're so weird and metaphysical. For a coffee guy."   

The Feast of Love, pp. 172-173.             

Thomas Hardy on Women, Men, Love, and Marriage

Stonington, Connecticut resident Bill Emberton gave a wonderful talk on the British novelist and poet Thomas Hardy and his first wife, Emma, at the Stonington Free Library on January 6, 2011. Evidently, Hardy had a somewhat cynical view of women, men, love, and the institution of marriage. The passages below are from three of Hardy’s early novels and were presented in a slide from Bill's talk.

Desperate Remedies (1871)

How exquisite a sweetheart is at first! Perhaps . . . the only bliss in the course of love which can truly be called Eden-like is that which prevails immediately after doubt has ended and before reflection has set in—at the dawn of the emotion, when it is not recognized by name, and before the consideration of what this love is, has given birth to the consideration of what difficulties it tends to create. . . .

A Pair of Blue Eyes (1873)

Every woman who makes a permanent impression on a man is usually recalled to his mind’s eye as she appeared in one particular scene, which seems ordained to be her special form of manifestation throughout the pages of his memory.

Far from the Madding Crowd (1874)

It appears that ordinary men take wives because possession is not possible without marriage, and that ordinary women accept husbands because marriage is not possible without possession; with totally differing aims the method is the same on both sides.